Dear Blog, I'm Back!

 What have I been up to in the past 4 years you may ask?

Well.

After finishing a r o u g h freshman year at BYU, I left on an LDS mission in October 2016. 

This gal had no idea what lie in store for her

I was called to speak Spanish in the Florida Orlando Mission by President Thomas S. Monson. While I served there from December 2016-April 2018, I saw miracles, had my heart changed, developed a love for humidity and Caribbean/Latin food, met some of the best people, and drew closer to God and Jesus Christ.

My mission changed me and I think about it every single day. 

Truth be told, if you had asked me on the last day of my mission if I wanted to come home I would have said no! I still feel like that most days. I ask myself, "Why did I come home from my mission?" and then make myself come up with an answer. On my mission my sense of purpose was so strong, no matter what I did I felt I was making a very important difference in the world. I felt valued, heard, and supported by all the people I was surrounded. Being home, I felt a little less of all those things. But, there's many things I learned on my mission and one of those things was that I AM NEVER ALONE. (According to this blog, I evidently learned that my junior year of high school too, but I seem to forget this truth from time to time.)

This girl LOVED her mission and is never alone

So why did I come home?

On my mission, whenever I'd dream about home, I'd think about... 

• my family
• the Hale Center Theater Orem and all my coworkers there
• trying new restaurants (specifically Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Venezuelan ones in Utah. Turns out they're not as common in Utah as they are in Florida)
• listening to music I wanted to listen to
• being able to exercise as long as I wanted to
• going to the temple as often as I wished to

So yes, since I've been home, I've enjoyed the presence of my family. I have a better relationship with my brothers than I did before I left, although we still have a loooong ways to go until we get along 100% of the time. I got my job at the theater back a couple weeks after I left, but upon returning didn't feel like I should work there anymore. Coming back I felt like I had progressed so much more in 18 months than the theater and its people had. And I didn't feel like I would be able to progress anymore if I continued to work there. So I found a new job, at Trader Joe's! More on that later? As for new restaurants, yeah there's a stunning lack of good Caribbean food in Utah. That's all I'll say. There's some good pupusa, Mexican, and Peruvian places, but I'm craving tostones, maduros, arroz con grandules, y arepas! Florida changed my heart, but I guess it also changed my taste buds. And all that music, exercise, and temple attending I wanted to do, yeah it's been nice to have some increased flexibility as to what I choose to do and when. But the old music I used to listen to doesn't hit the same. The exercise isn't nearly as fun when you don't have a companion to do it with, and the temples are closed right now. The temples are still great though. Just driving past them sometimes is a tender mercy.

The sustaining force that has kept me sane as I've been home over two years now is God's love (duh). I usually see it through other people. The other missionaries that came home the same day I did were a tremendous support system for months after our arrival home. My coworkers know how to listen empathetically and have fun. I roomed with my cousin for a year after coming home and she was also great support. When I don't see God's love through other people, I see it through sidewalk pennies, and the energy it takes to get out of bed each morning.

This girl is not going to stop climbing literal and metaphorical mountains. She's not gonna stop trying because she knows God is on her side and is going to not only help her get through each day, but consecrate her trials and afflictions for her good (2 Nephi 2:2).